For the uninitiated, here’s ways of identifying & steering clear of Bongs…

Observation #1 – While in Kolkata ask anybody where Rabindra Sadan is, if you are looked upon with that contemptuous gaze, Voila!! there’s your man!!  An average Bong almost swears by the bard who incidentally happens to be Asia’s first Nobel Laureate!!

Observation #2 – Take a random sampling of teenagers across the city. Do you see a lissome lass & you are gearing up for an impromptu intro (The Bong’s beauty is stuff of legends)? Hold it, does she have one of those colourful amulets wrapped around her upper Humerus, left exposed by virtue of that seductive sleeveless top? Beware, my friend change your bearings immediately, chances are her mother is trailing her & is about to pounce on you.

 Observation #3 – Do you happen to see people deep in concentration playing chess amid traffic chaos…..well, you don’t need any more confirmation!!

Observation #4 – Talk Cricket…does every alternate word sound like “D-A-D-A”?…take guard & be careful of the statistics that you mention henceforth! The average Bong may not be having his elementary education but he is sure to belt out esoteric stuff which to most ordinary mortals least interested in the game will sound like hieroglyphics.

Observation #5 – Never ever make the unpardonable mistake of discussing football with a Bong…chances are he is ready to draw blood over the slightest difference in opinion. Have heard of incidents where people have gone directly to Yuva Bharati Krirangan–(yes, that’s the Bong’s Estadio Azteca) after performing the last rites of their father!!!

Observation #6 –  This sign on a hoarding says it all.

                                     Fish – Rs. 400/month.

                                     Mobile Charges – Rs. 99/month.

Observation #7Talk Politics…but be prudent enough to be on the Right(Left) side of the fence.

     Well, I guess that’s not bad for a start….am in the observing & learning process myself! The idiosyncracies of the Bong keep changing with each passing day…!!

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